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Kipper Figgis has set up his own B&B guesthouse and places an advert in the Transelvation Bugle. Business is quiet for a few weeks until a coach party of Americans turn up. This coincides with Samuel Sandstone acquiring a large dog from a man in the next village. He visits the Old Hag to obtain a fur tonic but she is out sacrificing chickens so he steals a potion and gives it to his dog. Figgis is delighted to have his B&B full. He organises tours of the local countryside, conducted by Blind Boy Lemonade. Sandstone goes to see the Old Hag with a heavily bandaged hand, but unfortunately she is out gutting lizards and collecting newt's eyes. That night as there is a full moon Figgis decides that a tour should take place at midnight. Blind Boy Lemonade leads the party but falls into a ditch and passes out. A large dog savages several members of the tour group, others flee with bites and scratches. Kipper Figgis is forced to refund their tickets. In the morning Sandstone staggers home in only his thermals and Blind Boy Lemonade has to be pulled out of the ditch with a horse. Figgis spends much of the day tending to the Americans. Fearful of what is happening Samuel Sandstone goes to see the Old Hag, but she is at a metallurgists convention. More Americans arrive and Figgis is glad to have the No Vacancy sign up in his window again. As the moon rises a dozen guests transform into wolves. Figgis escapes to the Transelvation Arms. Bar Keep is trying to organise an antiques fair and has Major Rich in the back room going over a few family heirlooms. Kipper Figgis bursts in and explains what has happened whilst Bar Keep makes the tea on the stove. The Old Hag appears and confirms that a group of backpacking werewolves are terrorising the village. She takes Major Rich's priceless silver cutlery set and melts it in Bar Keep's pot. Meanwhile Blind Boy Lemonade has become trapped on the village green being circled by a pack of wolves. Luckily BLind Boy falls into the ditch again. Just as the wolves close in Kipper Figgis, Major Rich and the Old Hag arrive and shoot the werewolves (Bar Keep staying at the Transelvation Arms as he has to call last orders). They move onto the B&B and destroy all the wolves. In the process Figgis's guesthouse is shot to pieces. Another horse is rounded up to pull Blind Boy out of the ditch again.
Kipper Figgis (to guest being chased by a werewolf): "There's no pets I'm afraid."
Old Hag: "There's only one thing strong enough to kill a werewolf." |
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